Residents of Oakville were flummoxed by a downpour of goo they experienced in 1994. What was even more disconcerting was the wave of illness that rippled throughout the community immediately after…

With the sight of undulating woodland resembling the serried ranks of a million upright matchsticks covered in a fuzzy green blanket of needles to the north and the sound of the wily Chehalis River babbling by to the south, Oakland in Washington State is the kind of all-wooden, spread-eagled town American frontier folk, accustomed to all the wilderness they want, like to call home.

On August the 7th, 1994 there was no indication that the coming day would be unlike any other.

Oakland is rinsed by mountain rains year-round so, for the few awake at 3 am, the rhythm of precipitation was familiar. Yet, any awake in bed would have strained breathlessly to scrutinise an alien sound; not a patter of raindrops on bedroom windows but rather a queer, dull splattering. What on earth could it be?

A cop and his friend on the graveyard shift were cruising the area in his patrol car. They were caught under the heavy deluge and left open mouthed as a translucent, soupy liquid was smeared across the windscreen by the wipers.

“We both looked at each other and we said, ‘Jeez, this isn’t right. I mean, we’re out in the middle of nowhere, basically, and where did this come from?’”

They pulled over under shelter and the cop took a closer look at what had just gunged his car.

“The substance was very mushy. It’s almost as if you had Jell-O in your hand… We did have some bells go off in our heads that basically said that this isn’t right, this isn’t normal.”

The rain had covered an area of 20mi² (32 km²)

The puzzle deepened. People soon began to turn nauseous and dizzy. Pets dropped dead and Officer Lacey was finding it hard to breathe by the day’s end. Most of the residents were reportedly struck down with a mystery virus which lasted up to three months. Was the mystery rain of goo and sickness coincidence? Surely not.

Questions about the gelatin’s origin remain open. Lab tests on the substance were inconclusive; human white blood cells and two types of bacteria were found but the theory that it was human waste dumped from overflying airliners was discounted. Another idea that the goo is caused by a phenomenon called Star Jelly is… peculiar, to say the least.

Some residents recalled the drone of slow, black military aircraft over the town around the time but the Airforce denies involvement.

Shockingly, the official government reports of the event are no more.